I finally give in
To the see-ling fan
GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP
It keeps time
With my pulse
A regular beat
A-round and a-round
A-rhythm so reg-u-lar
I try to sleep
With a finger in my ear.
Weird.
GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP
I flush
The toil-let
And try
To ad-just the fan
Then tap
On the therm-a-stat
But still
Not-so-still
GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP
I give in
I am up.
Sitting at the smooth and flawless pure white
Kitch-in t-able
A perfect glass of $22 Aveda tea (which I never dare to drink)
Now honors me and
My thoughts.
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I ache for the loss of Maya
A voice of truth
Her rock solid bellow
Loud and slow
Soft and deep.
…and I ache for those who
Know not
The name
Maya.
I ache for the Angels
Of The Normal Heart
And for
Martinez
And all of the
Senseless
Deaths
Children
And our country
Now a land of
Suburban wars
Armed carpools.
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I watch that slick and stunning
Edward Snowden
And Barack becoming
Just
A man of words
With no rock-solid-real-bellow
And I wonder.
I wonder about all we have lost.
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They are shooting
At 7/11
For a piece of
Almond Joy
Service men and women
Returning home
To a care-less country.
CNN is turned off.
Yet still
Not-so-still
I still see-NN.
It’s cumulative.
GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP
And now
The kitchen clock goes
GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP
With my second cup of golden tea.
These are to be happy times
With pleasant breezes
And sunshine
In a tropical paradise
And now
I will
Climb back
Between my
520 thread
Count sheets.
GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP
TAMMRA SIGLER - Artist 
gulp ga gup
That is one serious dose of reality. The annoying tick tock of a fan that woke up so many thoughts that were brewing beneath the surface. It is such a throughout and reflective poem Tammra but I must disagree about Obama. His one statement about us not needing to see ourselves as the hammer for every world conflict (the nail) spoke volumes about the reality of where we are in this country. We do not have a Congress that will support VETS and give them the decent care they deserve when they risk our lives for all of us, so he (we) cannot ask them to risk their lives and endure lifetime injuries until we change our collective psyche. The reality of that dictates our foreign policy. Hoping your good tea gives you some slumber so you no longer hear the Ga-Gup Ga- Gup Ga-Gup of your infernal fan.
I hope I understood you correctly when you said you thought Obama was a just a man of words with no rock-solid-real-bellow. I just read this as part of an editorial in the Washington Post and it is so much more articulate than I just was so I am posting it here as a refutation of what I think you were saying about Obama. I think the comparison to Ike resonates. At least with me anyway.
“…After all, just six years ago, the United States’ closest allies were distancing themselves from Washington because it was seen as aggressive, expansionist and militaristic. Iran was popular in the Middle East in 2006 because it was seen as standing up to an imperialist America that had invaded and occupied an Arab country. And nothing damaged U.S. credibility in the Cold War more than Vietnam.
Obama is battling a knee-jerk sentiment in Washington in which the only kind of international leadership that means anything is the use of military force. “Just because we have the best hammer does not mean that every problem is a nail,” he said in his speech Wednesday at West Point. A similar sentiment was expressed in the farewell address of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, a strong leader who refused to intervene in the Suez crisis, the French collapse in Vietnam, two Taiwan Strait confrontations and the Hungarian uprising of 1956. At the time, many critics blasted the president for his passivity and wished that he would be more interventionist. A Democratic Advisory Council committee headed by Acheson called Eisenhower’s foreign policy “weak, vacillating, and tardy.” But Eisenhower kept his powder dry, confident that force was not the only way to show strength. “I’ll tell you what leadership is,” he told his speechwriter. “It’s persuasion — and conciliation — and education — and patience . It’s long, slow, tough work. That’s the only kind of leadership I know — or believe in — or will practice.”
Maybe that’s the Obama Doctrine.”
That’s beautiful Mo…Thanks.
Off to slumber and listen to my fan and hope to fall asleep before I turn 68 + 1 day.
Your poem was very reflective otherwise. We do live in a collective sorry state of affairs. Hope your dreams are better. xoxo