I finally give in

To the see-ling fan



It keeps time

With my pulse

A regular beat

A-round and a-round

A-rhythm so reg-u-lar

And per-sis-tant

I try to sleep

With a finger in my ear.




I flush

The toil-let

And try

To ad-just the fan

Then tap

On the therm-a-stat

But still




I give in

I am up.

Sitting at the smooth and flawless pure white

Kitch-in t-able

A perfect glass of $22 Aveda tea (which I never dare to drink)

Now honors me and

My thoughts.



I ache for the loss of Maya

A voice of truth

Her rock solid bellow

Loud and slow

Soft and deep.

…and I ache for those who

Know not

The name



I ache for the Angels

Of The Normal Heart

And for


And all of the




And our country

Now a land of

Suburban wars

Armed carpools.



I watch that slick and stunning

Edward Snowden

And Barack becoming


A man of words

With no rock-solid-real-bellow

And I wonder.

I wonder about all we have lost.



They are shooting

At 7/11

For a piece of

Almond Joy

Service men and women

Returning home

To a care-less country.

CNN is turned off.

Yet still


I still see-NN.

It’s cumulative.



And now

The kitchen clock goes


With my second cup of golden tea.

These are to be happy times

With pleasant breezes

And sunshine

In a tropical paradise

And now

I will

Climb back

Between my

520 thread

Count sheets.




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5 Responses to GA-GUP GA-GUP GA-GUP

  1. jen says:

    gulp ga gup

  2. Mo says:

    That is one serious dose of reality. The annoying tick tock of a fan that woke up so many thoughts that were brewing beneath the surface. It is such a throughout and reflective poem Tammra but I must disagree about Obama. His one statement about us not needing to see ourselves as the hammer for every world conflict (the nail) spoke volumes about the reality of where we are in this country. We do not have a Congress that will support VETS and give them the decent care they deserve when they risk our lives for all of us, so he (we) cannot ask them to risk their lives and endure lifetime injuries until we change our collective psyche. The reality of that dictates our foreign policy. Hoping your good tea gives you some slumber so you no longer hear the Ga-Gup Ga- Gup Ga-Gup of your infernal fan.

  3. Mo says:

    I hope I understood you correctly when you said you thought Obama was a just a man of words with no rock-solid-real-bellow. I just read this as part of an editorial in the Washington Post and it is so much more articulate than I just was so I am posting it here as a refutation of what I think you were saying about Obama. I think the comparison to Ike resonates. At least with me anyway.

    “…After all, just six years ago, the United States’ closest allies were distancing themselves from Washington because it was seen as aggressive, expansionist and militaristic. Iran was popular in the Middle East in 2006 because it was seen as standing up to an imperialist America that had invaded and occupied an Arab country. And nothing damaged U.S. credibility in the Cold War more than Vietnam.

    Obama is battling a knee-jerk sentiment in Washington in which the only kind of international leadership that means anything is the use of military force. “Just because we have the best hammer does not mean that every problem is a nail,” he said in his speech Wednesday at West Point. A similar sentiment was expressed in the farewell address of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, a strong leader who refused to intervene in the Suez crisis, the French collapse in Vietnam, two Taiwan Strait confrontations and the Hungarian uprising of 1956. At the time, many critics blasted the president for his passivity and wished that he would be more interventionist. A Democratic Advisory Council committee headed by Acheson called Eisenhower’s foreign policy “weak, vacillating, and tardy.” But Eisenhower kept his powder dry, confident that force was not the only way to show strength. “I’ll tell you what leadership is,” he told his speechwriter. “It’s persuasion — and conciliation — and education — and patience . It’s long, slow, tough work. That’s the only kind of leadership I know — or believe in — or will practice.”

    Maybe that’s the Obama Doctrine.”

  4. tammrasigler says:

    That’s beautiful Mo…Thanks.

    • Mo says:

      Off to slumber and listen to my fan and hope to fall asleep before I turn 68 + 1 day.
      Your poem was very reflective otherwise. We do live in a collective sorry state of affairs. Hope your dreams are better. xoxo

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